February 25, 2012
OK,
I'm inspired by my sister AllySusy to start my own blog. I'm hoping to use it to express my thoughts, comments & what's going on in my life. I hope you all enjoy!
So, I feel like I've done a lot of emotional growing. Does this make me emotionally mature? I doubt that. I am human. My sister Heather shared a comment with me that her husband shared with her. He read it from a Hugh Nibly (Nibley?) book. It really applied to a problem I was having with someone in my life. Heather told me that this person "Knows the price of everything, and knows the value of nothing." I told her how profound that was to me. This certain someone offered/volunteered to come & help me with my baby so my husband & I can sleep. She said she was going to take my advice when I told her the best way to overcome your depression is by giving service to someone else. You still have the problem, but at least your not sitting at your own pity party. Well, when she told me I was the person she wanted to help, I ws thrilled. I told everyone that she was changing, I knew it! I was so happy! Well a few weeks went by & she sometimes came once a week, but not more. Then she was gossiping about me to my sister saying how I wasn't showing her appreciation by giving her money or getting her gifts. Well, my medical costs are staggering & she knows this. She was telling my sister very unkind things about me. When she was here on Thursday (Feb. 23) she told me she needed to talk to me because something had been bothering her. I sat down & emotionally braced myself. She said that she spends $26 dollars a month in gas to come down & help me. Now she lives 15 minutes or so away. But I KNOW she also goes to Costco, Joann's, Winco & other errands in Ogden so the fact she wanted me to finance this when she "knows!" I'm strapped for cash. When I apologized for not having gas money for her she said, "That's not what I meant or what I want!" Um...HUH!?!! Then she brought up that I, yes I didn't get her anything for Valentine's Day. My husband got me & my daughter a box of candy and we didn't get her anything. Well, I've known her my WHOLE life & she's never once got me or any of my siblings anything for Valentine's Day, Mother's day or whatever. After my daughter was born I went all out (because I was so SO grateful for her) & I got myself, my sister April, & her, all beautiful gifts, cards & candy for Mother's Day 2005. She was very apathetic about the whole thing. She said she's all alone & lonely now. I feel she was being selfish & I was bending over backwards to tell her how thankful I was for her help. I threw her a birthday party last year & spent a chunk of money for the dinner. My family came & I didn't ask anyone to bring anything, nor did anyone offer, & I know they would have if they could've. Anyway, she comes & it seemed we had a great time. The next week I see her, she tells me that she was hurt & upset that NO ONE got her anything for her birthday. She's the ONLY one that seems to get a birthday party. My sister Allyson arranged for her to get an IPod for her birthday a few years ago & she was happy. She's NEVER thrown a party for us, or asked about doing a group gift for anyone. The point of her party was having her family around her. People are tight financially in this economy & a lot of people had to drive to get here. She got loving cards & a delicious dinner. I never got a thank you, but I was stung when she said no one got her anything for her birthday. Was she including me in that statement? Should I have shown her how much money we spent that caused us to make sacrifices in other areas, just so she could have a good birthday. Not to mention I was in my 3rd trimester of a very difficult pregnancy. Ugh, I have an icky feeling now. I'm open to comments, constructive criticism. Thanks for reading this & I'll start trying to post pictures soon & keep up with the blogging. Thanks & talk to you again soon!
Meagan
